lookee

For As Long As You Live.

2009-12-28T19:16:00.000-08:00

^-^ it's about time to find myself back there.

I Can See Your Halo.

2009-12-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

just became free from the clutches of my corporate work space.
and am at this time VERY MUCH enjoying the sounds of idiots playing halo; god bless you XBOX chat and overly excited boyfriend.

i work at an engagement ring store as an office associate, if you were wondering. and for the most part i do not mind my job. it's full of tetious tasks i can dround myself in all day; for example: packing boxes to be shipping, stock balancing, answering e-mails in crazy fonts, helping one coworker in a never ending scrabble battle against another... for the most part it is pretty much acceptable.

but sometimes,the dreaded times, i have to work in the customer service window.
ugh.
not to bash my sex, but i usually find most women annoying.
and being that i work in an industry that centers itself around "the most important event in a woman's life" i can safely assure you that i have had my absolute FILL. of. fucking. ladies.
and trust me. i use the word "ladies" looser than a lohan's vagina.
i cannot tell you how many time a day i hear, "What do you mean my ring can't be sized today?! I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY TO GO TO ASKJFDH OAISFH OAISHF JFJFJ!I NEED THIS DONE RIGHT. NOW. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I CANNOT HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT! I'M GETTING MARRIED! CAN YOU NOT SEE?!" *insert fake tears*
then it is my job to say "I'm SOOOO sorry, i completely understand why you're upset! this is literally the biggest-faking-deal EVER! please, allow me to make myself look like an incompetent puss-cake by getting my manager to come and give you whatever you want just because you decided to complain and somewhat cry! can i offer you a water or a coffee as i disembowel myself in front of you?"
the strangest thing is, i have seen this come from what i perceived as a totally rational human being before she was told she could not have her way, immediately.
(we cave, we're pussies)
i will never understand the significance of it all. even if someone were to propose; i'm convinced it would all be lost on me.
eh. vent. vent.

reguarding my premier post; i have come up with an effective way to perk up...

at least i never have to remember puking in a korean karaoke house. at least...

Findings.

2009-12-27T09:30:00.000-08:00

i can now charge and use my camera.
please, get ready for picture city.

.... and how come i cannot find a cool devices shirt! i thought this was the internet!

Black Sky, Motherfucker.

2009-12-24T18:09:00.000-08:00

I've been living on my own (with boyfriend and woofer) in San Diego, California for almost two years. And i finally gathered enough bones to have my car shipped to me. the new found freedom i am experiencing is overwhelming and most definitely empowering!oh, i'm at home... but i do not have to be if i do not want to be. joy.
i thought my anxiety (by the way, i have an anxiety issue... sorry, god) would be more pervasive now that my vehicle has reached me; but i feel incredibility relaxed.
i am a great, unstable mass of blood and bone. but i am slowly learning, un-medicated and un-counseled, how to find my footing. i can balance on this turning apple, and do so on my own.

.... this does not feel like christmas eve.

resolutions for the year to come:
1) spend more time outside
2) more comic hunting days
3) make a great effort to seek out better-for-you foods
4) become less of a procrastinator
5) do more
6) make more
7) cut off the worry
8) develop more feminine guiles
9) dresses! dresses! dresses!
10) thrift mas
11) save. yap.
12) become more sociable
13) maintain a pen pal
14) re-emerge myself in my interests: crochet, knitting, doodling, drawing, inky things, glue. lots of glue, reading, ect. ect.
15) become organized, and highly simple.

Heretic Pride

2009-12-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

blerg.

i'm so sick of the grey.

grey city spaces, people, work environments, social interactions, ect.
the pervasive everyday grey that i tend to find myself surrounded by recently. i'm weary of pleasantries and co-worker conversation. i've had my fill of christmas themed niceties. i give up this december. humbug.
nothing is wrong, per say. i'm neither bother nor depressed; i just hate to find myself in some horrible, overplayed rut. and just as many broken records before me, i find whatever axis i am currently stuck spinning on; boring.
22, and bored.
how classically girl, huh?
with my thirties on my back, i need to hastily fight against this feeling and feelings like it. it is time to take a stand against it. fold into some contemplative cacoon and bust free a new human, one of those who has is all figured out. (i doubt this is how it works or can happen, but i can attempt an awakening.. right?)
this is all too "dear livejournal", forgive me. but i need to capture "this" in it's entirity. the most strange since of misplace and serious confusion.
a change is what is needed. i will work on this. and the next post will not be one of problems, but perhaps solutions. to what? i don't know if i am sure just yet. but something less whinny. i assure you.